unleashing the soul//open

[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] Samantha was standing in the middle of the stage, alone, with just a few lights that she found blindly in the dark. She was fiddling with the ends of her wrist warmers and pushed up one side of her shirt that was on her shoulder, the other side hanging off and a tank top under it. Her converse messed with the floor and the frayed ends of her jeans were obvious even in this dim light. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a remote, before looking around. Then she aimed at the mp3 player and it started playing a karaoke version of 'Perfect' by P!NK, she started to sing. "Made a wrong turn, once or twice. Dug my way out, blood and fire, Bad decisions, thats alright Welcome to my silly life Mistreated, Misplaced, Misunderstood Miss. no way it's all good It didn't slow me down Mistaken always second guessing Underestimated look i'm still around Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect... Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel, like you're nothing, you're perfect to me. You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong chage the voices, in your head make them like you, instead. So complicated, look how big you'll make it Filled with so much hated, such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I can do Chased down all my demons, see you do the same... The whole world stares so I swallow the fear, The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer. So cool in line and we try, try, try, But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time. Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair We change ourselves and we do it all the time Why do we do that? Why do I do that? (Why do I do that?)." Samantha belted out the next part as she got lost in the song, which she did when she sang but when she caught her breath, she stopped the song, and backed away from the edge and closed her eyes as she sat down on the ground.

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[RILEY GRAYSON TAYLOR]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] There must've been something drawing Riley to the auditorium that day, but he couldn't exactly put his finger on it, because if he wasn't there to sing, why was he there? It would have been different if he had had responsibilities that brought him there, such as AV club duties or the audition for glee club that he still wasn't sure that he wanted to prepare or not, but there was nothing like that for him to use as an excuse. It had simply been his own free will that brought him there, and he found it more and more odd by the minute as he opened up the door with a creak. Something inside him must've felt like it belonged there, but that just sounded kind of mystical and creepy all at the same time, so Riley didn't really want to think about it. Riley was stopped in his tracks as he entered the auditorium and found a brunette girl standing on the stage, fiddling with her arm warmers. For some reason, he felt like he recognized her, but even though it was on the tip of his tongue, he couldn't remember when he would have seen her before or what her name was. He must've looked like an idiot, standing in the back of the auditorium (which wasn't as far away from the stage as it sounded, because it was kind of small compared to other venues that he'd seen) and just staring at the girl, trying to remember why he recognized her...but hey, what else was new? Riley wasn't at all graceful or cool or any of those things, and he was almost always making a fool of himself in some way or another... It randomly hit him in the middle of this thought - he'd seen her before when he had gone to the choir room with a song of his own in mind, and he'd heard her sing. Being a shy person, he wasn't much for trying to strike up a conversation, even though her voice was incredible. She had sounded a lot better than him, in his opinion; his voice had a rather odd range and some shaky undertones sometimes, but that often resulted from his nerves. Slightly in awe, slightly just nervous to try and follow up after that with his own song selection, he'd just run off and forgotten about trying to practice. It wasn't as if he would ever get over himself and audition, anyways; he was too freaked about whether he would even do well or not to even try. Riley was too lost in thought to even try to choke out some words right then, so he was kind of counting on the girl (whose name he still couldn't remember) to say something.

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[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] Samantha sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She shook her head and looked down at the stage, trying to think. If only she could do that in class. But she would just sit in the back and let Rachel Berry take over. Unless she was called out or Mr. Schuester told her to come up and sing for a homework assignment, Samantha would make herself less known to New Directions and the school. That was just how she was. It wasn’t hard but she did want to show up Rachel. Who didn’t? It wasn’t easy to go from being known to just being a miniscule speck on someone’s radar. Samantha looked over at the mp3 speaker system. It wasn’t all that hard singing alone, spilling out her heart and soul into a song that means so much to her. But if she sang it class, it would be about 25% less than what she just did. She would probably freeze up if she opened her eyes. Samantha shook her head again before looking up and into the distance. There she saw a shadow. Someone was there… How long had the person been standing there? Was he waiting for her to move out of the way? Samantha watched the figure before saying, “Who are you?” It was a quiet question but with the emptiness of the auditorium it would have been loud enough to hear from everywhere. She started to stand up and went over to grab her mp3 player and placed her iPhone in her pocket and walked off the side of the stage, still looking at the person, it was easier to see now that she was off and noticed it was a student, one of the AV club members, but she didn’t know his name.

[atrb=width,100] words , 299 words tagged , Riley Grayson Taylor notes , Sorry it took a couple days, but here you go 

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[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] "You don't have to go..." Samantha said softly, as she approached the boy. "I'm Sami, it's nice to meet you Riley." she replied with a small nod. Samantha looked down at her shoes, she smield a bit at his comment, "Thanks." she said. It was one of the songs that she could sing from her heart and Samantha didn't really want anyone to hear it. Well, it's too late now. Samantha looked up at him again, "So what are you doing here?"she asked. Samantha played with her wrist warmers again as she looked towards the stage, she consitered excusing herself to go and turn it off, but she didn't want to leave like that. She may actually have a decent conversation without having to leave, which was hard for her to begin with but if it kept her more..."social" like her councelor said, then she will do it. Anything to keep her off her back.

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[RILEY GRAYSON TAYLOR]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] Riley couldn’t help but notice how quiet Sami was as she spoke to him, saying that he didn’t have to go and also introducing herself….perhaps the most useful part of the conversation so far. Shifting his weight around, feeling a bit awkward as he tried to calm his nerves, he responded politely, “It’s nice to meet you, too.” Manners, at least, were an easy excuse for a reply, albeit a kind of lame one. But they were second-nature to a guy like him, who was raised to be polite and civil and all of those dweebish yet somehow admirable/attractive things. He honestly didn’t understand why girls were into the whole ‘good manners’ thing, but he at least understood it better than the whole ‘bad boy’ act. Riley, for one thing, had never pretended to be anything all in the name of love (perhaps because he hadn’t been in love yet) but didn’t really want to, either. He didn’t get the whole fascination with faking a new personality. The thing to snap him out of these rather off-topic thoughts was – of course – the dreaded question that he had no answer to: “So what are you doing here?” It was like his heart had been pushed into a swimming pool and drowned itself. His stomach churning, he started to stammer, “U-um…” Don’t just stand there! Say something before you make yourself look bad! Just play the whole witty-charming thing and smile and look dumb until she changes the subject, he thought, starting to panic a little. Riley didn’t want Sami to think he was weird or some kind of creepy conquesting player-dude just seeking out his next conquest. He knew for a fact he was none of those things; now all he had to do was say something that convinced her that he wasn’t. “I wish I knew the answer myself,” he decided on – it was just witty enough while still being coy-slash-vague enough – with a light, nervous laugh. “I was just kind of…wandering, and I guess I just drifted this way ‘cause here I am.” Riley cracked a rather forced smile before realizing that he was rambling. He wasn’t a big talker, but sometimes when he got caught up in trying to make someone believe something or with trying to seem normal-ish, the words started to pour out like a waterfall and just couldn’t stop. “Yeah, that was kind of unneccessarily lengthy…” he muttered, pushing up his glasses and quickly raising and lowering his eyebrows in disbelief at his own stupidity. ((if you notice one of my older posts is gone, it's cos something messed up and I had to delete it...sorry!))

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[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] Samantha nodded, she know was it was like to drift. She always made her way back to the choir room or here, and most of the time she was alone. "I know how you feel." she replied with a nod. Samanha would be tuned into her music and just walk. she didn't care where she was going, but she just ended up somewhere. It was the same when he was walking, if she walked home. She would complately pass by her house with a second thought. "You're fine." Samantha said with a nod. She understood that rambling was her specialty, especially when she was nervous. she would just be all talk and sometimes annoyed people even if she didn't want too. "Aren't you apart of the A.V club?" she asked and if she was right, Artie was apart of it too, but she couldn't quite remember. She wanted to get this conversation rolling.

[atrb=width,100] words , ? words tagged , Rileyy notes , I"M SO SORRY! Project has kept me working on it instead of anything else!

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[RILEY GRAYSON TAYLOR]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] "I get kind of caught up in my thoughts sometimes," Riley admitted sheepishly, his cheeks turning a light pink as the words came out of his mouth. It was the best explanation he had, that he was stuck in his head - he had a lot to think about, anyways, so it made sense. He was the type to do a million things and never stop thinking about them. It explained why he needed so many hours of sleep on weekends. After all, he was only ever not busy on weekends, and he needed a break from his own head sometimes. His thoughts kept him awake at night during the week a lot; usually he just kept rambling on and on about whatever he had to think about and then finally zonked out sometime in the early morning - 3 AM-ish or so. "I guess the whole ton-of-thoughts thing sort of explains why I talk so much sometimes," Riley mused with a shrug. He usually spewed out whatever he was thinking if he didn't have anything to say, as long as it wasn't going to sound stupid...well, to tell the truth, his thoughts were usually pretty stupid, and that didn't stop him as often as he wished. But still. Riley was the type with a lot to say if he was willing to let people listen. It was warming up to people enough to want them to listen that was the tricky part. "Yeah, I am in the AV club. And you're in the glee club, right?" Riley replied, figuring she probably was. There was no other reason for her to be in the auditorium unless she was like him, and just needed to sing and get it all out sometimes. But usually, he did that in his bedroom, with his guitar in his lap and the door bolted shut. Nobody could find him there and nobody could hear him there. He didn't even sing in the shower anymore - not after learning that his voice would carry downstairs when he did that. His mom had even tried to compliment him, and that was when he swore off singing anywhere where anyone could hear him. That pretty much ruled off the auditorium, since it had such good acoustics - and Riley would know. He'd done lighting or sound for pretty much every musical McKinley had ever had since his freshman year, so he knew how voices carried.

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[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] “Yeah, I know how that is.” Samantha said, she kept in her thoughts from time to time. Samantha sat down in one of the chairs, making herself comfortable and ready to talk to Riley. He seemed like a nice guy and he didn’t seem to be one of those nice-then-jerk guys. Which she has met. She nodded at his next comment and shrugged, “I normally just stick to myself, trust issues.” She murmured the last part to herself and wouldn’t be surprised if he heard that and mentally kicked herself. Here we go, don’t ramble. Samantha knew she had a problem when she became nervous and just kept her mouth shut as she let her eyes shift to the ceiling. Samantha nodded at the comment about her in the glee club. “Yeah.” She replied, “I’m surprised about Mr. Schue letting me in. Normally everyone in the group is so outgoing and such and I prefer to stay in the back.” She replied and shrugged. It was hard trying to take the spotlight away from Rachel, and she wouldn’t dare try, it wasn’t a rumor that it was Rachel’s fault that the last choir director left, and she didn’t want to be on that hit list.

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[RILEY GRAYSON TAYLOR]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] Riley leaned back against the arm of one of the chairs in the aisle, folding his arms across his chest and nodding every so often as Sami spoke. "Oh. Well, I've always blended into the furniture, so I know how that is," he explained, shrugging one shoulder. Riley had never been the type to do much more than stand around in the corner or sit in the background. Maybe that was why he couldn't get himself to drop Celibacy Club; because he liked finally being acknowledged and in charge. He wasn't a leader type - who would follow him? he didn't have a clue what he was doing half the time anyways - but he did like it when he wasn't just a shadow. Sometimes that's how he felt around his friends, like he was just their shadow and they were the main attraction. Okay, 'sometimes' was probably more like 'always,' he had to admit...but same thing. "I think it's more about talent than whether or not you're willing to get out there and do your thing no matter who's watching," Riley said, kind of trying to convince himself more than he was Sami. Glee club had been something he'd been debating, but his only problem was his stage fright. He didn't want to be the guy to hold them back at competitions just because he wasn't confident enough not to pass out or vomit onstage. But singing was the one thing he'd never done anywhere outside his bedroom - singing, dancing, playing his guitar, all those things having to do with performing - and he didn't know what he sounded like or if he had the right stage presence or anything. Besides, he was pretty sure he wouldn't look very good under the lighting of the auditorium anyways. "I mean, you're good, so that's probably why he let you in," Riley said with a shrug, trying not to blush like he always did when he gave people compliments and wasn't sure how they'd be received. "I don't think it really matters how shy you are; I don't think he can turn you away because of that. I think it's more that people turn themselves away because of that stuff." He knew he was just ranting at this point, so he clamped his mouth shut and awkwardly looked back down at his toes.

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[SAMANTHA JAYME LOCKYER]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

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[atrb=width,240] "Thank you." Samantha said with a small smile. She watched him and looked down when he stopped talking. "Do you sing?" she asked. Now that Sami has thought about it she has seen him here a whole lot, working with musicals, and most of the time singers who can't or don't want to sing will work with musicals or the glee club just to have some part in it. she had that from experiance with her family. He also just looked like a singer. If he wasn't, maybe an actor.

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[RILEY GRAYSON TAYLOR]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i54.tinypic.com/2vafwqd.jpg), border: solid #ffffff 5px; width: 400px; height: 500px;] "Are you a singer?" Sami asked, and Riley wasn't entirely sure how to respond. "Um, I don't...I mean, I'm...not...er, I...kind of?" he stammered, nervously running a hand through his hair and letting it rest on the back of his neck. He would understand why she would think so, since he had worked on every musical the school had ever produced, with lighting as his specialty, and also did a lot of the glee club's performances. But Riley never opened his mouth to sing outside of his bedroom, so calling himself a 'singer' was kind of a disgrace to the term. "Definitely not in front of people," he added as further explanation, his cheeks calming down from the beet red they'd just been. The hand that had been awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck fell limply to his side. "I know you sing, but I don't think I've met you during any of the musicals..." Riley mumbled, sort of thinking out loud. He knew Sami was in the glee club - he remembered her as the girl hiding awkwardly in the back and tugging at her arm warmers as she hummed along - but he didn't think she'd been in any of the musicals. He understood why she wouldn't want to get up in front of a bunch of people and act, though. Singing must've been hard enough. He knew not everyone got as bad stage fright as he did, but he still felt like maybe she knew how he felt on that level. "Do you act or just sing?" Riley decided to ask, sitting down on the arm of the chair he was leaning up against and folding his arms across his chest. He was honestly curious. Riley didn't always like people, but there was only so much you could learn from observing. He kind of liked how you learned so much more in a conversation, not just from the answers to his questions, but from their reactions and just what they did. It was actually a lot harder to learn about people from a distance than he'd realized.

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